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Saturday 24th. August 1999. 10.10.a.m. Feast of St. Bartholomew. ST. Michael's Huntingdon.
low and made worse by having seemingly less time for prayer because of my
father I found the last weeks difficult. Jesus has blessed us abundantly
and many needs have been met in order to look after him. However my
ingratitude and sheer lack of determination stare me in the face.
Yesterday, Monday the washing machine was supposed to be mended. The first
repair failed and the man was called again. Michael did not want to miss
his return. I Knew that even if we both went to Mass we would not miss him
for the Lord Jesus would 'fix' his coming. However I ' sent' Michael off
next door. (The Church ). How mortified I felt when Michael returned and
seconds later the man arrived. I could have gone to Mass. Sorry Lord. Yet
even still He blessed the day not least of which by fine weather.
JESUS.....(Jesus speaks as I finish the above) Halina- Please give me space to talk to you. If you do not your pain will increase for you cannot live without Me. You know that. Your father will make demands, that is his nature but you must adjudge those that have to be met and those that are not crucial. Halina how can I speak to you when you run away. Last night, the day before....etc. I know that you have pain so I am patient but put me FIRST above all else and leave the rest to Me -
I wish to tell you the next Rosebud. Stop for a second and look at My Mothers statue next to St. John. What word came to your mind?
H.... Humility Jesus
JESUS.... Yes, HUMILITY. This Rosebud is not for the timorous nor for the loud and brash. this Rosebud is for the Anawim - the foolish beggars that lay down before Me as the King of all people. Halina if you wrote for years you could not exhaust the nature of the most perfect vessel of humility My beloved Mother. neither can you encompass what that means. man has lost the ability to love and serve the Lord. To bow down before the Lord and say I am your servant do with me what you will. Yet humility comes with this bowing down in complete submission. I bowed to My Father on the Cross. You must do as I did. All the Angels and Saints bow down before the Most High.
Halina, Humility is the recognition of your place before My Father. It is to say, such as I am I lack nothing for all that I am you made and all that I have is yours. I can do nothing save by Your grace and in complete surrender.
Humus means soil. Humility is of the earth, to be like the dust to be trodden upon and yet essential for a foothold. I served in humility by washing of feet yet I was the Cornerstone which the builders rejected. You too, My little flock be the cornerstones of My church, but do it in complete humility. As Fr. Nicholas said, unknown if necessary, reviled if necessary, rejected, mocked, beaten, broken yet the cornerstones. Humility the virtue of the Sacred Truths of the Father. Humility safeguards Truth. Did you Know that? No you did not! You cannot remove truth if the carrier is humble. This does not mean cowardly, for it requires great courage to be truly humble. Put courage and humility together in your heart Halina. If you cannot be brave you will never be humble. Real courage is vested in the humble, because with nothing of themselves they defeat Satan. Emptied of self they serve, and that takes the action of The Most Holy Spirit bestowing the courage needed. Humility is costly as it requires complete emptying out (kenosis), But only I can help you with this. Watch for the ways in which I mould My faithful. It is always in the path of ultimate submission. Humility is purity of spirit and gentility too. An aggressive spirit has not been humbled yet.
Halina stop now. I will give you the second part of this teaching message later.
Go now and make your father's breakfast- and yours. Bon Appetite.
Wednesday 1st. September.1999. 1.22.a.m. Home Huntingdon.
JESUS.... What trouble I have with you MY precious one. You are right, it is difficult to make your father understand many things now, but as I said to you earlier, I have the same problem with you. You feel sad about your father and I feel sad about you and all Mankind. I speak loudly, I shout and yet no one is listening and even if they hear they do not want to or choose not to understand. It threatens them all too move. Their spirit is dimmed with the blindness of ignorance of Holy things.
Halina do not follow the way of the world. I have called you to be apart from the world to be forever Mine. Please please Me. Who else does. So few visit Me or long to see Me! Halina you must find more space for Me in your heart. I keep pleading but you turn away with fear. Why do you do this? It displeases Me greatly. I wish to give you priceless gifts but you prefer transitory goods. When will you learn. Tell Michael to contact Archbishop R. and Father B... Halina why do you shun this contact too. I have told you to contact them but you do not. Please do so urgently.
Now Halina write what I say exactly as I tell you about the third Rose-Bud Humility. You have been perplexed by the two parts of the teaching. The reason I stopped (apart from your tiredness) is that I wished you to learn a little more about this little flower. Now hear this.
Humility is the quintessence of poverty of spirit. Blessed are they that posses this flower for they can look at the face of God for in their lowliness they see purely. They see the emptiness of any other face and the fullness of the face of God. It seems costly doesn't it Halina. Yet it wasn't easy for the Apostles and it isn't easy for anyone. I had to take Peter, James and John onto the high mountain to let them experience My transfigured face yet once they had seen it they still had not grasped what and who they had seen. I had to reveal myself many times and in many ways before they surrendered their vision for my vision. They had to learn to see with My eyes and not their own, yet they still struggled. I offer to all my followers a chance to see Me, to be continually in My presence both in Heaven in the next world but also by union with me in this. Seeing does not necessarily mean with the human eye but with the eyes of the spirit. ( Note. I heard a commotion in my fathers room and went to see if he was alright.) Yes, you see Halina your father wakes in the middle of the night and checks his bank books - what blindness. It is not his cataracts that blind him but he closes his eyes to me. He does not wish to be bothered with Me. He prays like a dead man who cannot be made alive. He has not got poverty of spirit for he tells Me what he needs. He does not see what he really needs. You find this painful Halina and you are distressed again. Do you not think that I find this painful too. I gave Man eyes and Mankind abuses their sight.
Halina listen to Me. There are not too many tomorrows for Mankind to hear My voice. To be humble is to submit to the knowledge of your own imperfection and realise the perfection of the Creator, of the Trinity- Father, Holy Father, Son and Spirit. If you cannot close down your self image how can I reveal the secrets of the Trinity to you Close down all that is not worthy of the Father's intention of the Fathers purity. Yes, you are fallible and imperfect but with grace you can become a mirror of the Fathers love. The inner you will gleam even if the shell is tarnished, frail and fragile. Your confessor told you to do this quickly. He spoke my words. Do this VERY QUICKLY. Time is short.]
When I was a little boy My Mother would ask me to this and that and I would do as she asked. Eagerness for obedience is a sign of pure humility. Obedience is always a reflection of subordination. If you obey you acknowledge the right of another to dictate the terms of your being. You deny yourself the right to do as you please. Utter obedience to My will is like this. You deny yourself the free choice the right to do as you want in favour of My Fathers will. I did this from the start even unto death. Halina learn My Fathers will for you. Seek it with vigour and dedication for it is truth. Complete humility is the overpowering chosen desire to always do what another who is in authority ask of you. But remember always that the Fathers will is always supreme. IN order to serve you must know the distinction between the ordinances of Man and God.
Halina why do you think that liars are rated as evil as all other immoral men adulterers, fornicators, licentious,, the perverted. It seems that to today's mind -your time - out of place. But a liar is opposed to truth and so is opposed to the Spirit, the Sacred Spirit who cannot be ever in transgression of the truth. He is the perfection of The Truth - the utter signification, sign of the truth thus my little one even one who lies cannot be at one with the Spirit and if you are not at one with the Spirit then you cannot be 'poor ' in spirit - though truly 'enriched- so you are rich in self. Listen and ponder. If a man carries within himself deceit of any type the Spirit cannot invade or enter so his darkness grows and in this darkness he cannot be humble for he is full of all that is not of God. Evil and Good in the purest sense cannot coexist in the one spirit. To be truly humble requires such emptying as to allow the truth of who you are to be so clear to yourself - the clarity of emptiness - that the Spirit longs to enter and the soul becomes wholly overwhelmed by the Truth. It becomes transformed by a power which man does not posses. Mystery indeed to human hearts and minds. Human - of the earth - humus, earth, humility to be hu-minded - to be minded, reminded of being poor soil from which man is made and will become again and yet to be so poor that the riches of God can be poured in, which will survive all time. Only by sin can man eliminate, expel the Spirit. So if you are truly ( truthfully ) humble you will retain the Spirit of God. My Mother, MY Lovely Beautiful, Virginal Mother did. She did not, nor could not sin because she could never expel the Holy Spirit that she had said 'Yes" to and who in turn had prepared Her spirit. She could not reject the grace she lived. yet she lived so simply, so purely, so lovingly. She could have accepted the accolades the Apostles bestowed on her yet she rejected all this and lived so perfectly at one with God that she reflected His Majesty like a prism. Totally human yet perfected by humility. Your path is a lesser path but you will not attain it without this Rosebud of humility.
Pray for this quality, Halina, with great eagerness. You have much to learn about its beauty and colour. But do not get despondent. Keep yearning and trying. Do not give up. Halina if I asked you to throw away your books from "Me' this word of mine would you? Your heart skipped a beat but in obedience you should only have one answer "Yes:. No, I am not asking you to do this, but use this as a measure. In all things I ask you should only have one answer - yes. In all things great and very small I am your Lord. I know what you do not and cannot, so to learn humility is to be obedient to the Truth.
No, Halina, I do not mean that you should do any thing for it seems the lesser part. You have been tempted for many reasons to dispose of these (messages) in moments of pain and frustration, even anger, sometimes self realisation of your own worthlessness an stupidity, but all of these would have been self motivated, yes even the latter and not a sign of humility. I gave I will take away.
Poor poor Cactus. How much weeding I have to do in your garden before the Rose buds can grow! But, Halina the soil is worth tilling. Take heart and learn obedience - and I will gift you with humility.
Little Cactus yearn - do not reject my touch run to Me.
I love you. I really love you, My stubborn creature. Halina enough - Now you don't want to let Me go. First I can't get you to listen now you don't want Me to stop.
Oh little creature! - (Jesus smiles')
I shall be back with the fourth rosebud soon, sooner than you think. Goodnight Cactus.